Past presidents have opted for George Washington’s bible or other bibles with special meanings.

So if I were going to be President, I really don’t know which bible I would choose. Did Frank Sinatra leave a bible behind? That would be a good choice. Or maybe a famous literary figure… Although now that I think about it, I’d probably use RFK’s bible.

Here’s a few suggestions of people I wouldn’t suggest for future Presidents to try to borrow a Bible or other religious book from for the swearing-in ceremony:

• Adolf Hitler (as well as those pesky neo-Nazis)
• Madonna (the singer, not THE Madonna)
• Richard Nixon (obviously)
• Andrew Johnson (impeachment anyone?)
• Andrew Hamilton (duelers never win)
• Anyone with Confederate ties (duh)
• Cheech and Chong (they don’t exactly convey a serious attitude, do they? Ditto Pauly Shore)
• Vanilla Ice (no. just no.)
• Edgar Allan Poe (it would make your presidency seem a bit ominous)
• Diddy (or is it P. Diddy? Puff Daddy? Sean Combs? We’ll just call him the “voice of this generation.” While we try not to snicker. Oops. Fail.)

[UPDATE: Just realized I've confused Kanye West with Diddy. But that's not entirely my fault, as there is that Sean John fragrance commercial where the man is showing off his Napoleon complex. We'll keep the error for posterity.]

And while I certainly enjoyed studying the Bard, I’m definitely going to take a break.

But, for your enjoyment (because I know how you love to revel in my misery), here’s the prompt I had to (well, we could pick from three and this is the one I chose) write on:

“We have looked carefully at the characters in each of the nine plays we have read, often analyzing them as if they were real people, not fictional creations. Write an essay in which you offer an analysis of Shakespeare’s ability to create characters whose speeches, thoughts, and actions allow us to think about what it means to be human.  You should choose characters who are richly three dimensional, characters about whom absolute, irrefutable claims are hard to make.  You must deal with at least five but no more than six characters, and you must study at least one character from each of the three most recent plays.  In addition, you must study at least one character from the first unit of the course (Julius Caesar, Antony and Cleopatra, & Cymbeline) and at least one character from the second unit of the course (Richard II, Henry V, & Coriolanus).  In offering your assessment of the characters you choose, be careful to articulate clearly each claim you wish to make and then to support that claim with detailed evidence from the play in which the character appears.”

My prediction? Utter devastation. On my part, of course. I should have started planning earlier. I really should try to overcome this whole procrastination thing, eh?

By Stephen M. Silverman

Estelle Getty in her most famous role.

Estelle Getty, who won an Emmy and a Golden Globe as the tart-tongued Sophia Petrillo – mother of Beatrice Arthur’s character – on TV’s The Golden Girls, has died. She was 84. 

Getty’s longtime manager, Alan Siegel, told PEOPLE on Tuesday: “As of 5:35 this morning, surrounded by her family in her Hollywood Hills home, Estelle Getty passed away peacefully in her sleep of natural causes. Her family and close friends thank everyone for being so loving and supportive of Estelle in her last few years.” 

For many years, Getty had suffered with Lewy’s Body Dementia, which has been described as a type of Alzheimer’s disease. 

Also starring with Betty White and Rue McClanahan on the NBC sitcom, Getty’s Sophia resulted in her receiving seven Emmy nominations, and a win in 1988. Equally winning were her well-delivered insults on the show. A typical Petrillo put-down: “I think there’s a connection between your brain and wallpaper paste.”

Daughter of Immigrants

Specializing in playing “old” (Getty, only a year older than Arthur, was in her early 60s when she was cast as octogenarian Sophia), the future TV star was born Estelle Scher, the daughter of Polish immigrants, on New York’s Lower East Side. 

From age 5 “I wanted to be [movie queen] Claudette Colbert.” Getty told PEOPLE in 1986. 

Desperate for an acting career, Estelle took lessons – then, in 1946, she took a husband: retail-glass businessman Arthur Gettleman, whose name she would later adapt as a stage professional. But first, she raised the Gettleman’s two sons, Carl and Barry. 

Eventually there were off-off Broadway roles, then Harvey Fierstein cast her as his overbearing mother in Torch Song Trilogy, which opened on Broadway in 1982. The spotlight from that show resulted in her landing the role of Sophia. 

Arthur Gettleman died in 2004. Her sons survive her. 

“She was loved throughout the world in six continents, and if they loved sitcoms in Antarctica she would have been loved on seven continents,” her son, Carl Gettleman told the Associated Press Tuesday. “She was one of the most talented comedic actresses who ever lived.” 

Funeral services will be private, said Siegel.

Larry Harmon, longtime Bozo the Clown, dies at 83

By JOHN ROGERS

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Larry Harmon, who turned the character Bozo the Clown into a show business staple that delighted children for more than a half-century, died Thursday of congestive heart failure. He was 83.

His publicist, Jerry Digney, told The Associated Press he died at his home.

Read the rest of the story here: http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5hhj-8BF2XnML69KPAiEQQkgECTRwD91MMUE00

But for the record, it’s not the most frightening picture I’ve seen. That honor goes to the King of Pop, Mr. Michael Jackson.

I actually screamed when this mugshot popped up on my homepage.  Screamed. In terror. 

I think a new term for this needs to be named. Any suggestions?