Plan A: Stop the Presses; Plan B: Tell Them You’re Young and Stupid
That’s the Michael Phelps strategy anyways.
By now, I’m sure most of you have heard about “the bong incident.” Ole’ Phelpsy was a little careless and got caught on camera. In reality, he was just auditioning for the new Cheech and Chong movie. But he didn’t have what it takes to be a serious actor in a movie heavily influenced by a certain illegal (in the U.S. for non-medical reasons that is–in Amsterdam it’s perfectly legal) drug. I hear Chong is pretty strict about who he lets act in his movies and felt Phelps just didn’t have that certain star quality. Something about “not paying homage to the pot gods.”
News of the World first “reported” (it’s a British tabloid, for Pete’s sake) the story, saying “Phelps’ aides went into a panic over our story and offered us a raft of extraordinary incentives not to run the bong picture.”
That was plan A. But of course, NotW is not stupid. Phelps + bong = an increase in circulation. And in these hard economic times (especially for the newspaper/magazine industry), that matters.
Plus, you know, running the photo and possibly crushing the guy’s career is always fun. You won 8 gold medals at the Olympics? Wow, that’s impressive. But not as impressive as our printing presses, which can print this photo of you and a bong on thousands of copies of our tabloid! Now stare in horror as we practice our evil laugh… MWUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
So when pleading (“Pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top?” “No.”) didn’t work, the Phelps team decided to pull out the sincere apology. Also in the plan? Mention he’s young and stupid. We all were young and stupid once.
From CNN: “I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment,” the record-setting American athlete said in a statement issued Sunday.
“I’m 23 years old, and despite the successes I have had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a manner that people have come to expect from me,” Phelps said. “For this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public — it will not happen again.”
We’ll have to see if Plan B works. I’m guessing Phelps is going to have to win at least fifteen gold medals in London to make up for it. The American public is expecting it.
